Saturday, May 13, 2006

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers

The following is a poem that I came across in a newsletter, I don't know who wrote it though.


A WOMAN"S POEM

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard ...
Not like his Mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew.
I didn't mend his socks
The way his Mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue,
Then I turned around and smacked him ...
Like his Mother used to do.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Norml

It's been so long since I've been here, I had trouble getting in ...

I came across something a bit strange in the Side Swipe column of my local Newspaper, The New Zealand Herald on Monday 24 April.

"Norml News, which is a great read, has kindly provided some tips about how to get stoned the healthy way. Including: use organic cannabis; sterilise your bong/ pipe between sessions; don't share joints and pipes because of the risk of meningitis; avoid cannabis when pregnant.
And my favourite, "mixing cannabis with alcohol can make you more out of it than intended". "

Reading this made me wonder whether having organic cannabis alters the price of it, (Will the ever rising fuel prices have an effect on this too and is this going to cause a further crime problem with the rising costs?) and does the theory of mixing alcohol and cannabis needs further testing. Is there really a "healthy" way to get stoned?

Perhaps the quote "beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" should be altered to
"Beauty is in eye of the joint holder"

All comments welcomed

Monday, December 19, 2005

Santa is a Woman

I found this while browsing


Santa is a Woman

I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing
social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull
it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting
gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind
of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with
amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping
spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco
products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You
might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my
husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th
hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa
is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would
wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the
tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all,
there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and
strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate
claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already
be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and
clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the
fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the
Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the
flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas
fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to
straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen
with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest
as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability
to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.........
- Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
Definite guy.
- Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.
But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good
will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas
Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Grrrr Pizza

Pizzas for dinner should be simple ... pick up phone, ring and order them to be delivered. Yeah right, ...it wasn't simple the other night.
Rang the usual pizza place with coupons at the ready, the incompetent female at the pizza shop (she had to keep asking someone else there)gave me an outrageous price for the pizzas I wanted delivered, and after asking someone else there again she told me I could only use one coupon. What utter bullshit, other times I have used 2 coupons with no problems at all. I told her what to do with the pizzas. My mom'll be proud of me, I didn't swear or at least I dont think I did ...supermarket trollies have been known to run into people in my presence (mom wants to disown when that happens).
Had to ring another pizza co. to actually get the pizzas for dinner, as usual there was some left for breakfast.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Quiz Time

I found a quiz on a friend's journal, that I thought I'd share.

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:Petty Page
Specialty:the splits
Customers say:"Are those real?"
Quiz created with MemeGen!


And Yes, those are most definitely real. Hehe

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Well since my last posting a birthday has quietly passed by. Although I ended up cooking dinner that night, I did not work that day. Actually it was a fairly quiet day, I got some reading done (and not just of blogs either); did some creating, and I got new high scores in a couple of games. My friend has told me that turning 40 is easier than 30, guess I'll just have to take her word for that ... cos 40 is a long way off yet (and I dunno yet whether I am 40 will ever become part of my vocab.). Recently I have had a few people ask me, how old I am ... they'll just have to keep guessing.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Crappy Day

When I started writing this yesterday I'd had a damn crappy day. Hopefully writing about it, will get rid of it. I hate working when "everybody" thinks they are the boss (and they're not really), and they try telling me what to do, especially when they're wrong, and I'm right. I dont need bossy people throwing their weight around, telling me to watch my language, as if quiet ole me would be using bad language anyway. What the hell gives them the right to boss me around anyway. I dont need to put up with their crap; and thankfully I dont always work with this person. The thought that today Thursday would be better, helped me get through the rest of the day.
At least today was a better day, well no one has totally pissed me off today yet. And I didn't cook dinner, so all is good.